Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself. Someone with positive self-esteem will generally approach things positively and consider own self a good person that deserves love, supports, and success in life. On the contrary, someone with low or negative self-esteem will generally think they are not good at things or someone who doesn’t deserve love or supports.
People with low self-esteem usually focus on the times they fail rather than the times they succeed. They find self-criticism so they feel insecure and inferior. They think other people won’t accept them and let themselves to be treated badly by others. They also feel doubt about their ability to do good things. So, they think negatively about themselves. Your self-esteem, which includes how you value yourself as a person, affects your mind, body, and relationships. Although you might not be aware of it, your self-esteem influences your life every day such as the choices you make, the way you feel in new situations and how you appear to other people. Positive self-esteem is a result of healthy living. If you generally feel good about yourself, you will be happier, your moods will be balanced, your energy will tend to be positive, and you will be open to communicate with others thus empower to others take on challenges. If you have healthy self-esteem, you will be less likely to blame other people for your mistakes or misfortunes. You will be able to accept criticism-and, therefore, more likely to learn new skills. Generally speaking, if your self-esteem is healthy, you will be most comfortable and will form secure and honest relationships. You will be able to deal with stressful situations. You will tend to make healthy choices, and appreciate good things in your life. Nothing is more important than how you feel and thinks about yourself. High opinion of yourself, who you are and what you do is basically a love for yourself. It is also something that people often miss or have too little of in today's society. Stop your inner critic, use healthier motivation habits, and stop comparing yourself to others are the great ways to maintain your self-esteem.
First, it is important to start with raising your self-esteem by learning to cope with the voice of your own inner critic. Your inner critic can spur you to get things done or to do things to gain acceptance from the people. But at the same time, it will drag your self-esteem down. This inner voice whispers or shouts destructive thoughts in your mind such as “you are lazy and sloppy” or “ you are uglier than your co-worker”. Do you have to accept this inner voice? The answer is No. There are ways to minimize that critical voice and to replace it with more helpful thoughts. You can change how you view yourself one way to do so is simply to say stop whenever the critic pops up in your mind. You can do this by creating a stop-word or stop-phrase. As the critics say you may something in your mind such as STOP or NO that you are not going there. You should refocus your thoughts to something more constructive such as planning what you want to eat for dinner. In the long run, it also helps a lot to find better ways to motivate yourself than listening to your inner critic.
Second, several things should be done to weaken the voice of inner critic and at the same time motivate yourself to take action and raise your self-esteem. First, you should remind yourself of the benefits. A simple but powerful way to motivate yourself and to keep that motivation up daily is to write down the benefits you will get from following this new path or reaching a goal. For example, try to make a list of yourself to do things such as how to get into better shape and to have more energy for your kids and for the people close to you. You can also try to make more money to be able to travel and experience wonderful new things together. When your list is done then put it somewhere where you can see it every day- in your workplace, your bedroom or on your fridge. Second, you need refocus on doing what you really like to do. When you really like doing something then the motivation to do that thing tends to come almost automatically. When you really want something in life then also becomes easier to push through any inner resistance that you feel. So if you lose your motivation, ask yourself “Am I doing what I really want to do?” If not and if possible, then refocus and start working on that very important thing instead. After you have practiced stopping word or phrases then focus on one of these techniques. Over time it will become a habit and your inner critic will pop up less.
Third, you should never compare what you have with what other people have. Things that people "have" can be money, friends, degrees, jobs, kids, titles, fame or others. Those things are not measurable but they may change. They disappear and obscure. It may mean nothing to different people. Instead, compare who you are with who others are. Ask yourself question such as “Is he a good person? Are they making decisions that help others? Do they engage in things that improve their intellect? Do they take on challenges? Do they inspire those around them?” And then, if you like who they are in ways that inspire you, push yourself to do similar things. There may be times when competition is appropriate, but life is not about competition. The sooner you stop competing against others to "win," the faster you can start working together to figure it out. The first and most important step in overcoming the habit of competition is to routinely appreciate and compliment the contribution of other people. Then, you can find happiness when you stop comparing yourself to others.
To sum up, self-esteem is something that we carry all the time. The importance of self-esteem cannot be underestimated. It affects your behavior and thoughts. It also changes how you feel about and values yourself. So, you have to maintain your self-esteem to live a better life.
By Raysha AJ
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